were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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