I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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