Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
