I just threw up on my dentist
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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