would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
