I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I think my moral compass just broke
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
