How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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