Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
