You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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