how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
