im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
