Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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