Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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