Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
