you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
