Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
