so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
