he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
