dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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