He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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