I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
we're making bets on your personal life
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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