I wanna bring you to show and tell
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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