one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
