I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
