We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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