Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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