I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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