he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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