Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I licked your asshole in confidence.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
