There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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