Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize