I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
