he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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