He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
