every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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