I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I am naked and annoyed.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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