I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
