Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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