i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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