i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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