from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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