Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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