try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
