You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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