i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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