I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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