I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
