i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
