Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
