Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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