Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
