He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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