I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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