I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
