I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
