BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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