susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
