Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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