i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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