Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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