I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
