i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Hippo gnu deer
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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